Making a list, checking it twice

"Burning away, releasing the excess, endings clear way for beginnings."  The caption for this picture.
Talk about decluttering.  Make way for the new.  I was moving this and that out of my home, but my decluttering has stalled.  I wonder why?  I look around and point at things that (if) (when) I move, would go with me.  There are many things that will not. Time to re- engage with the business of space clearing.  Well look, I have a weekend ahead to finish one of those lists!





The Good Tarot ~ Colette Baron-Reid

Water World

Looking deeply into this card and swimming in the depths I hear the song Cool Change, Little River Band.
I was not born in the sign of  Water; Earth and Fire dominate my chart, but the songs of the seas stir my soul.  I have pretty much made up my mind to move South, when is the question.  I kind of gave my word that I stay in the inside sales job for a couple of years, not sure how much of that I will make.  Trouble is I have always pretty much been a woman of my word.  If I leave early will it have caustic effects on my move?  The time does come for a cool change, and not the the coolness of Winter's coldness.

Unbidden

I think this gal has shown up to give me her opinion or "pearls of wisdom" and there is just something about her tilt of head that I ain't having it.  Most of the time I don't mind listening to suggestions from others, or listen to their pearls of wisdom.  This gal just doesn't come across as having any one but her own interest at heart.  So today I will be on the lookout for the possibility of someone trying to give me an ear full.  Blah, keep it.

Pearls of wisdom

She seems to be offering pearls of wisdom to me.  What I do with them?  What we all do with them, is entirely up to ourselves.  Some work and some don't and some are stored on a shelf to be used another day or forgotten entirely.  Today when someone offers me one, I will pay attention and give it the consideration it is due.









The Gaian Tarot

Among us

Angels among us? You betcha.  This last week I have been working with a couple that I helped buy a home a couple of years ago. A week ago the house next door to them blew up, literally; from a natural gas explosion. Their home has been condemned and they have to start over.  They have mentioned several times that they knew angels were watching over them and I knew this too when I experienced my trauma seven years ago.  Today as I remember family and friends, I will also keep my guardian angel and others that support me on this and the etheral plain in my good thoughts





The Good Tarot

Who's that girl?

When I was a young girl, I spent as much time outdoors as possible and I loved to garden.  I need to return to those days to find the healing and comfort long lost by being indoors.  I notice it even more now that I work indoors and not in outside sales. I think post retirement I will collect my social security and work part-time in the local nursery or the garden centers at a big box store.  There, amid the flowers and greenery I think I will find that young girl again.





The Good Tarot  - Colette Baron-Reid

What ifs

Tinnitus, the incessant, mostly constant, high-pitched whine or ringing in my middle ear.  Suffered from it for years. Some days it almost overwhelming. This card of the Devil makes me think of it and the what 'ifs' in my life. The nagging worrying of things not done, done incorrectly, and many more misgivings.  Right left? Two steps forward, one back? This that?  On and on it can go. 
That's what I think tinnitus is; worry, self-doubt, and inner criticisms.





The Gaian Tarot - Joanna Powell-Colbert

Get up!

It is a Holiday Weekend, the unofficial start to the Summer.  Ninety-two degrees is the forecast today.  No dancing around the fire-pit with those temps.  I remember with fondness that today would have been the last day of school until September.  Thoughts of staying up late and playing hide-n-go-seek, and catching fireflies, and running barefoot, and, and, and.  I have lost the wonderment and this Summer's quest is to get it back.
I have had several offers to stop by 'friends' homes this weekend and have not accepted one of them. We have gotten old and dancing around with joy is not in them. They say the five people you spend time with is a reflection of you, time to go in search of others that want to get up and dance. Older we may be, there can still be some celebration and joy.

Futile

Yesterday's 'Challenge Accepted' today is being met with resistance.  I have some how scanned this Ace of Swords upside down, so it is meant to be read as reversed or the 'shadow side' per the author.  I wonder if the caterpillar knows she is going to being going through metamorphosis and who she was is not what she will or can be.  Resistant to the challenge is not something that she can choose. 
Feel the fear and do it anyway.






The Gaian Tarot

Challenge accepted

Finding something worth doing.  Doing it and doing it well, even when times get difficult and challenging.  Hanging in there and going the distance. 

Comfort Zone

Over the river and through the woods. 
Seek and you shall find.
Look and see.
This way or that?
I was reading an article the other day about Earthing, Grounding.  Heard it before, so does it work?  Only way to know is try,  Today is day  three.  Ten minutes every morning I am taking a walk barefoot through the grass. After thirty days I will post here if it really seems to make a difference.  This morning chilly fifty-two degrees and my feet got really cold.  Oh well lets see.
If nothing else I am walking ten minutes every morning.  Maybe I will get an 'electron charge,'

Group discussion

Not your typical Eight of Swords, where normally you are alone and bounded by your fears.  Here everyone gathers together to share.  Still the Eight of Swords casts a pall over this gentle interpretation.  What to share or not?  Don't want to be judge by others.  There's the crux, all the baggage we carry; the thing is we all have baggage,  Who is there really to judge?







The Gaian Tarot

Hello

Every-time I see this card, it calls me to go to the ocean.  Nothing scheduled, maybe time to make plans.  Salted air and sea breezes. I bought a t-shirt yesterday that had "call me on my shell"










The Gaian Tarot - Joanna Powell-Colbert

Problematic

Temperance is one of those cards that most of the time I just don't get.  This depiction goes nowhere in explaining it better.  I keep seeing 'cube over square' or something like that.  Geometry or Algebra or mathematics equation. If it's about meditating on a problem for a solution, there are better ways to meditate than in this position. 
Just now I thought about Sam Wise telling Frodo "you can't go walking around Mordor in naught but your skin" or skivies or something like that.
If presented with a problematic situation today I will wait till I am alone to meditate on the difficult problem, but I will keep my clothes on.



The Fountain Tarot

Icy Hot

In years past I was known for my ability to drop the room temperature by 5° or 10° with a look.  The freeze out. It also allowed me to trap some of my explosive nature in a "iced cube"
Then I went into sales and had to temper that attitude, tho I will confess there were many instances I could not or was not entirely successful and I lost clients over it.  That is in the past.  Now I am trying to deal with those fewer and farther in-between bouts of anger and disappointments, especially since my trauma experience.  I don't have enough energy to maintain the 'freeze out' and with that comes the thawing of some old frozen moments.  Most are insignificant now and letting go is no issue, some still have pain within.  What's the big deal I ask myself? One day they will all be insignificant when I decide to leave the Planet.


The Fountain Tarot

Strike a pose

What you see is what you get?
Not by a long shot.  I look at myself in the mirror everyday and I say to others "I look in the mirror everyday and I know who I am"  but do I?  There are days I am clueless at the person looking back at me.  How did I get this old? When did the lines in my face blur along with sight lines of Life?  Day in day out trudging along, am I becoming a automaton?  Are we all?
Oh well going to shelf that.  The Sun is out, we have had so many months of cloud cover, I am going to finish up my daily tasks at the office and go take a drive in the sunshine.

Seen not heard

I wonder some days of what I or many of us might be years down the road if we were or had been allowed to speak our truths.  So many children speak honestly and then told to hush, that voices become muted.  Of course some of the reasons they are hushed are their truths, which are their parents opinions and 'truths' who most of those got their's from parents.  So we build our lives on old, aged information.  What a mess the human race is.

Here is my truth today. Alabama's legislature has banned virtually all abortions.  Yes or no on the matter is not the point. The point is taking power away from women.  We are barely one step ahead of the taliban and isis on their view of women.



The Fountain Tarot

Revisit

You remember; the celebration in the Six of Wands, when you were touting those accomplishments. You did well.  But did you?  Cause here they are, back.  Doubts, fear, worry, anger, second guessing, and the oh-my's.  Just about the time we think we have things in hand and ready to move along, we have to defend our choices and decisions. Do we? Who do we need to defend ourselves too?  Our biggest critic, me, myself, I.   Put away the self-flagellation and continue up and along the chosen path.






The Fountain Tarot

Altered view

You really have to look at this Judgement portrayal to see the three cups with gossamer shrouded peoples rising up. So does this card of Judgement asks us to return to the people we chose back in the Three of Cups to dance our way through Life?  Are the choices we made back then what we are being judged for now?  Yesterday did present a moment when I looked at my family and asked myself, did they even really know me?  I almost asked the question and was going to make a real point of it, then I remembered the draw of Strength yesterday.  Now today I am thinking these are the people I have anchored myself to you, and if we really don't even know each other, then maybe Judgement tells me to move along. 
Plenty of time to make new choices to be Judged by.



The Fountain Tarot

Judiciously

I picked judiciously for Strength today. Strength that has been slotted as Major Eleven in this deck.  This card speaks to me today  as choosing my battles wisely.  To be careful of the challenge I may be presented with today.  Sometimes it is better not to choose and just walk away.  There can be Strength in that choice, when every fiber of my being wants to jump into the fray.
An old idiom my Father used to spout, "who is the bigger fool, the fool, or the fool that argues with a fool?"





The Fountain Tarot- Saiz, Gruhl, Todaro

Here and Now

Another egg.  I will need two of them for a cake I am making today.  Mothers Day tomorrow and my sister asked me bake the 'rock-bottom' cake our Mother made when we were children. A delicious decadent delight. I have mentioned it several times this week, each time bringing Mother closer to mind and heart.  A scratch chocolate pudding cake basically with chopped walnuts or pecans that settle to bottom of cake, so we aptly named it 'rock bottom' cake. I was thinking on it earlier this morning, how it came out of oven and Mother placed it on top of washing machine in the utility-room to cool. We all checked it out.  I remember the washing machine top just below eye level so I got a good view whilst placing my hand flat on top and watching as the cake waved a bit, since it had a wet bottom, more wet than pudding. It was just wonderful and special.
Memories of the past, a special treat in the here and now and a recipe for the future occasions.

Time to go

But Where...
Wherever you go, there you are.

New beginnings are happening all the time, everyday, usually without you noticing them - so if you are wishing your life were different, take a moment and realize it actually is! Focusing all the time on what you wish could be better is too negative and narrow minded. You should try a little harder to take note of the progress that you have made and pat yourself on the back for all the good things you have accomplished. Sure, you may have a little farther to go, but who doesn't. 

Shot of something

I sure could use a boost of this kind of energy.  Slept poorly last night.  Maybe there is a lesson here with this card.  I am sure this cheetah has had sleepless nights.  Uncomfortable tree branch, the huffing of lions nearby, Thunderstorms with vibrant streaks of lightning, those would all make for an uncomfortable and restless night.  Still the hunt needs to go on, with the dawn comes opportunities that can't be missed just cause one is a little, okay maybe a lot, draggy.  Get up and go and do and tonight replenish.
And so it is.




Wisdom of the Oracle

Unfinished

I wonder about unfinished business, thoughts, relationships.  There have been many that I just left, no final goodbyes or good riddance. Was it because there was nothing left to say or do; not wanting to close a door, or fear of hearing what the other side of unfinished had to say or do?  Part of me says done is done, but remembrances can bring an ache. 
The Issue of Fairness, as Mark Nepo writes"is a very painful issue to discuss for most of us, because so much of how we see the world hinges on a sense of fairness and justice,"
There never was a statement of fairness given to us in Life.  Things happen, the World turns, Life goes on.

My Mother loved to play the piano.  She tried to teach each of us on one we had in house.  I tried and she said I would never really play well with my short stubby fingers. Some fifty odd years later I still think of that.  Was her blunt statement fair?

Wisdom of the Oracle.

Tick Tock

"I'm late, I'm late for a very important date. No time to say hello, goodbye, I'm late..." Rabbit, Alice in Wonderland.
Lately it seems that I have some kind of Time-Table in my head.  Expectations of completion of something or another, and I am not getting things done in a timely manner.  Then I wonder whose time-table am I on?  For the most part no one really gives a care; so wrapped up in their own concerns and time-tables, they don't even noticed the ticking of my clock. Wasted, senseless worry.  I would be better off tying those concerns to a hot-air balloon and let the wind carry them away. The question would then be what would I spend my time on if not for worry? #!**$@!



Wisdom of the Oracle

Point of Light

This card does not speak to me.  The Oracle within the vision of one's Higher Self, the Higher Power, redundant.
I have a good sense of self, whether I like me or not, depends on the day and whatever seemed to happened in my dream time.  I never see myself in this realm or another,  as some floating, transparent, etheral being.  Maybe a "will-o'-the-wisp' but not some angelic looking wanna-be.  Some need the comfort of a fairy-godmother like being, and that's okay too.





Wisdom of the Oracle

Fork in the Road

This card has no ambiguity to it  Looking for a sign, this literally has a fork in the road.  Yesterday's Moon card showed a path and today I am given a definitive sign post.  So let the adventure begin.










Wisdom of the Oracle, Colette Baron-Reid

New Moon

After drawing the Moon I checked the calendar and today is the New Moon, so an appropriate draw for the day.  Water, yep lots of it today with rain forecasted on an off all day.  I seem to have focused on the falling yods beneath the Moon and yep, there is a meteor shower, the Eta Aquariids peaking tonight. Won't see it here because of the cloud cover and it is most visible in the Southern Hemisphere.  Even though I can't and won't see the Moon or the meteor shower doesn't mean I won't be effected.  Meteor showers always seem to stir something up in me when the Earth passes through the dust of a comet. So it is "a lets be kind to Carolyn" day.  If I hear those dogs howling this evening, well I am sure there will be a revelation accompanied by goose-bumps.
woo-woo stuff.

Own it

I occasionally sit and wonder 'what if'  This Queen of Wands this morning reminds me of reflection.  She seems to be looking off to left lost in a remembrance. I have made some 'not so right' choices in my life. Is there any point trying to figure out, what if?  What if I did go right not left?  Things may or may not have changed, there are some things I would change, others, nope.  If I changed one thing everything after could and most likely change.  Own it.  I am who I am and I am because of some of those choices. 
I just realized I use changed a lot in the above paragraph, so any Queen of Wands worth her salt has the gumption to get up and embrace change.
age, hang, can, cage, nag...words within change.
I can hang the worry of age, forget the doubts that nag at me, break free of the cage...change.
I still have fifteen hours today to do something different to effect change.

California Dreamin'

California is not the lotus land I have searched for. California Dreamin' by the Mamas and Papas is playing on the radio; so this draw seemed to play to the song.  Always dreaming of something else leads to dissatisfaction.  Trying to live somewhere else instead of right where I am has caused some of my gloominess, and that's on me.  Others trying to foist their ideas and wants on me is on them.
I am going to take a step back and look at the blackboard of choices and decide what really is a good choice for me.  Can't decide? I will try to choose two of the best, eliminate the others and go from there.

Suspicious

Do people give freely, not really expecting anything in return?  This has not been my experience. Well except that one time sevenish years ago.  Lots gave freely and helped me along; still mixed in the bunch were quite a number that acted humbly but had a hidden agenda.  They wanted accolades for their offerings and good deeds.  Makes one cautious and a bit jaded, and that is something I still have to work on.  Not always wondering what someone wants in return.  Today something given will be accepted and appreciated, or maybe better I will have the opportunity to gift to another. 
I like me better with a open sunny attitude.  The days in shadow are not where I want to live.