Friday, September 30, 2016

Follow Your Dreams

This fairy gal seems to have lots going on in her dreams.  Cherubs, swans, butterflies, doves and bits of roses here and there.  I wonder with so much REM activity if she wakes fully rested.
One postulated thought on dreams is, it is when the Mind does clearing work; scrapping bits of this and that and storing other pieces of information away.  As I get older I sleep less or it seems not as deeply and I wonder if my mind is going through the scrap heap of obsolete information stored away?  Maybe that is why I wake up with weird bits of this and that.  All that stored information swirled together and comes out like gobbledygook.  This morning my mind was stuck in the grove of seventy eight and half degrees, 78.5°, 78 1/2°,  78.5 degrees; in my minds eye I saw this every which way, does it mean something or is it the goo of mixes thoughts?

I always like the line in the song I Dreamed the Dream - But the tigers come at night, With their voices soft as thunder.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

In the eye of the beholder

The Awakening Your True Self stuck to the card of Beauty the top card on the deck, so I am guessing the fairies want to clue me in.  There is great beauty all around us; people, places, and things..."let me tell you about the birds and the bees and the flowers and trees and the moon up above and a thing called love." That second card has me thinking I am supposed to clue into me.  Awakening to my true self. 
I heard a line in a show the other evening that has stuck with me.  The evil queen in the show, Once Upon a Time, has been trying to change for the last couple of years and she made a statement that part of her still believes she is the Evil Queen because that's the story she has told her self and has been telling herself for years.  It was what others told her and she heard it, believed it, personified it.  As Regina she just couldn't shake that image.  Now through some bit of 'magic' the Evil Queen ripped herself out of Regina at the end of last years' show.  Regina now has the opportunity to be a new and different kind of gal since the evil has been removed?  Easier said than done I think.
For some reason the gist of the scene was/is  We are the story we tell ourselves.  I have heard it before but it really resonated the other evening.  So for now in my journal I am working on a new story for Carolyn.  I was about ready to settle into 'old age' and go along with what others and society has got in mind for us old folk.  I turn 60 in a few months and I believe I have enough time to reshape and revitalize myself with a new story.  So I think the beauty card speaks to me on my journey to awakening to my true self.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Feeling Safe

When I drew this card I heard "the best defense is a good offense.'  This fairy stands at the ready, sword in hand, secure within the walls of castle or home and has three companions at the ready. 
What does it take to feel safe?  I know living from a place of fear is no way to live, but what does it take to really feel safe?  I know my answer is different from another and most definitely different from those living in war torn countries.
Something for me to ponder on today.

Healing With The Fairies - Doreen Virtue

Monday, September 26, 2016

Inner Child

I don't take the time to play everyday.  I read a book sometime back that advocated spending time everyday getting in contact with the inner child and play some everyday.  I worked at it but it began to feel like another chore, another thing that had to be done and I remember as a child I did not like to do chores.  I try to remember to smile everyday: one to share with a stranger, maybe one to share with myself in the mirror, and definitely one in appreciation of gratitude.
I do love a good laugh.  I enjoy  hearing children laugh and giggle.  I like a good joke, even the ones that are on me.  Children don't wake every morning thinking 'I think I will play today' it is just something that comes natural.  
Today is a good day to connect with my inner child and share a laugh and maybe a bit of adventure.

HEALING WITH THE FAIRIES Oracle Cards-Doreen Virtue

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Look Inside Yourself

Healing with the Fairies Oracle Cards by Doreen Virtue and a number of different artists, was a deck I purchased in 2012 after I got hurt.  I was looking for different modalities to facilitate my healing.  I never connected with the deck and occasionally I pull it out to see if I can relate to the images. 
When making a decision I can ask others their opinions but ultimately I decide.  I find that so many people want someone else to make the decision for them, so they don't have to take responsibility for their lives.  Sure there are times that someone else has to step in, but for the most part the decisions are and should be our own.  If not sure, I sit with myself and within a short time the answer will present itself to me.  Working with the Tarot and Oracles gives me focus and that helps.  I am thinking of the Magician who has all she/he needs on his table in the form of the elements and so to, we have all that we need, we just have to look within.  I think I will wear something in green today.

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Extra Extra

I have journaled most of my life. Not feeling comfortable enough to share my thoughts and feeling on my joys and fears with others I poured them out on slips of paper and notebooks.  I eventually go back over and read those thoughts, feelings, and remembrances and then rip and shred the pages; not wanting to leave something behind that could be hurtful to another and also having moved on I need not be reminded by those bits of this n that.
When I was a teenager I started writing bits of poetry and I remember sharing those pages with my Mother who said they were too dark and disturbing and no one should read my thoughts.  I am guessing that has something to do with releasing those pages.  Of course I have come to realize this blog is a bit of journaling and sometimes I wonder if I should go back and erase the pages?
Maybe there should be a bit of something of me left somewhere out there.

THE GAIAN TAROT - Joanna Powell Colbert

Friday, September 23, 2016

Come sit with me for a bit

Joanna Powell Colbert recently shared a spread she uses on her blog-website: A Tarot Spread for Insight into a Current Soul Lesson.  Divide your deck into three piles: Major cards, Number cards and People (Court) cards.
Ask yourself these questions:
  • What’s the big force (or soul lesson) at work in my life right now? Pull a card from the Major pile.
  • What area of my life is this showing up in? Pull a card from the Number pile.
  •  How am I relating to this force? Pull a card from the People pile. 
 So at 10:21am yesterday morning, just as Autumn introduced herself for her 2016 showing I drew the above cards to give me focus for the next three months.
I am giving these cards a look over for the next few days and allow the images to speak to me on a deeper spiritual level.
The first thing I noticed is that all three are moving or working at a tempo or some rhythm to their work. Drum beating you have a tempo, hammering iron I am sure you have to have a tempo, and spinning yarn definitely there is a tempo to that spinning wheel.  I notice the fire of spirit burns in the first card and is also present in the oven of the blacksmith.  And the spinner in her Autumnal garden is sure to enjoy the leaves change to their fiery bursts of color.  The two end cards are both focusing on the gal in the middle.  She does not seem to be enjoying herself as much as the the other two or is just so focused on working that hot iron that she is not aware of anything other than what is in front of her.
This spread is giving me the opportunity to reconnect on a deeper level with the cards and I will work with these three individuals a bit more over the next few days.  So they may revisit my blog after I sit with each a spell and have a conversation with them.

THE GAIAN TAROT - Joanna Powell Colbert

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Turn it off, please!

 This week I have been looking at the cards from a different view-point.  Trying to get a feel for what the advice was for the day or a different spin on the take of the card.  I noticed a few weeks ago that I was not connecting with the images. I thought it might be that Gilded Tarot, and so I put the deck away and yet I still spent a few days just looking at the card of the day-not getting much. So this week I thought I would take a different approach.  Today I drew Bindweed (The Devil) and those crows cawed at me and so my thoughts went to the sometime incessant chatter, that non stop diatribe that happens between my two ears.  I thought of the old saying 'the devil is in the details' so there it is as they say.  It's those little things, those minor details that can really screw around with you. 

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Ticket to ride

Today marks the last full day of Summer for 2016.  The Autumnal Equinox tomorrow September 22 at 10:21 am (EST) marks the turn of the season. Still feels like Summer with ninety degree days forecasted for the next week or so.
Seasons change and with them the way we look at our day to day lives.  With Summer we still have reminiscing memories of childhood summers, swimming and chasing lightning bugs. Getting to stay out later and hide 'n seek in our backyards.  Autumn brings its joy of cooler days and beautiful kaleidoscopes of changing colors, thoughts of campfires and jumping in piles of raked leaves.  When Fall really sets in I love the mellow smell mixed in those soft breezes of change. I love the autumn though it is always mixed with a bit of dismay for the forthcoming winter.  For the moment though it is pumpkin spice and everything nice. 
Today I drew the Chariot which is quite appropriate for my thoughts on the change of season.  Time moves on and I am grateful to be alive for the ride.

Card is from Sue Lions eartheart oracle cards.

                                                               Bye Bye Summer!

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Giving of gifts

Today I drew the Six of Earth or Pentacles.  Sharing and exchanging, as Rachel Pollack describes in Seventy Eight Degrees of Wisdom - "giving people what they are able to receive."

So instead of the Tarot card I drew for the Six of Earth I have gone with a different rendition, a pair of hands sharing energy to another.  Then that person can decide what to do with the gift, giving them control over what they will or will not do with the gift.  Years ago when I gave something to someone or did something for someone(s) it was assumed that I would get something back at the very least a 'thank you.'  Many times I was disappointed in others when the disappointment really should have been with myself.  Giving is the gift itself.  It has taken me years to let go of the expectation of reciprocity, in fact I still have issues, mostly when I wish someone a good day and don't hear the return salutation.
It reminds me of a quote from the Bible 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you.'  I am different from the next so doing for me is different from doing from you; so that gift I give, may not mean the same to another...

Monday, September 19, 2016


Sometime if you are a small fish in a big pond you better have a bit of attitude.  This is an Ace of Cups if there ever was one.  How you feel about yourself does effect your field of energy and that in turn reflects how you go about your day and how others feel around you.

YOLO - You Only Live Once

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Frog Flying

I have been drawing the Page of Wands a number of times in the last week or so in response to a couple of questions I have asked myself.  I found this picture a number of weeks back after the day of froggy fun. 
This could definitely be a Page of Wands.  Youth and enthusiasm with a bit of whimsy tossed in.
What fun it must be to ride on the back of a big ole frog and jump from here to there.  Of course it is a ride only taken in ones imagination but really that is where the magic begins.
I guess let go and have some fun is my answer.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

When a bell rings an angel get it's wings

"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly." - Unknown

Last evening one of the downtown churches had advertised a Special Music Event featuring hand bells.  I love hand bells, in fact the Carol of the Bells is one of my favorite pieces of music, so I decided to get out the house and go have a listen.
It was a lovely presentation of hand bells, chimes, piano and the Women and Men's ensembles did a bit of singing along.
At the closing the Pastor announced that the evening was a tribute to church member who had passed months before.  She had played hand bells there for years and in her Will she donated funds to the church to buy new hand bells, since the old ones had become tinny.  I suppose the members knew that bit of information, but as a guest I thought what a lovely gift to give on your way out of this World.

GAIAN TAROT -Joanna Powell Colbert

Friday, September 16, 2016

Cogito ergo sum

Each of my thoughts is like a raindrop.  When I think the same ones over and over again, it is as if I am creating this incredible body of water.  If my thoughts are negative, I can drown in a sea of my own negativity.  If my thoughts are positive however, I can float on the ocean of Life.

We are what we think.

"I think, therefore I am." - Rene' Descartes

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Go ahead, I am listening

The typical Eight of Swords is somewhat negative card that speaks to denial.  This Eight of Air(swords) encourages us to not go it alone, but throw off those bonds and share, the good and the bad and in sharing there is community.

The World is moving at such a fast pace and that pace has caused such discontinuity among us all.  I think that it is this disconnect that is what is at the root of so much turmoil, hate, disease, distrust...   We really don't stop and listen to each other.  On a good day we might hear about one minute of a conversation then we tune back in to our own internal dialogue. The days of dinner around the table and vacations around the campfire are almost a thing of the past.
Today I will work on being fully present and listen to what is being said.  Give someone or everyone my full attention.  That's where the connection is, validating another by listening.

"When you talk, your are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new." -Dalai Lama

GAIAN TAROT -Joanna Powell Colbert

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Share a smile

I wonder if people and I am people so that includes me, stop and think about what they think, do, and say. I am back to one of those fifty thousand repeating thoughts I have daily; and the consequences of those thoughts, actions, and words.  This gal is planting a sapling in the forest, will she live to see the tree grow to full potential?  Even if she did no one would say "hey that's the tree Carolyn planted."

I recently heard this woman share a story of the last day of her Mothers life.  Her Mother loved Wendys chili.  When she found her Mother dead later that day, there sat the the takeout bag with the chili unopened.  After a time, one of her thoughts was she hoped that whoever waited on her Mother at the drive through window was happy and polite, because that was the last person who saw and spoke to her Mother."
Each and everyday since I heard that story I try to remember to share a smile with someone.  We really don't know do we?

THE GAIAN TAROT - Joanna Powell Colbert

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Something in green perhaps

New beginnings.  They are happening all the time, sometimes without me noticing. 

The Summer Season is really winding down.  As the tilt of the Earth changes the days really are getting shorter.  Now it seems we are (losing) two or three minutes of daylight each day.  I really noticed the difference this morning.  The evenings as well.  It has been an incredibly hot and humid summer and even though I really am looking forward to the lovely Autumn weather, I know what follows Fall is Winter (brrr).
Like the Seasons that change, I do as well.  Each day is a new beginning and I can be enchanted with it or begrudge it.
After Summer, Fall, Winter, there is the promise of Spring.
Today with this draw I will choose enchantment.
Bright Blessings to all.

GAIAN TAROT - Joanna Powell Colbert

Monday, September 12, 2016

slings and arrows

Can anyone really win in the midst of a argument?  Especially if heated and hated words are exchanged. The hurt can go so deep no one wins.  Would it not be better to agree to disagree and then part ways?

Occasionally in my work I encounter such bitterness. This time siblings whose relationship has turned into absolute contempt for each other.  Relaying there disagreements between their attorneys.  I have now entered the picture and the best I can do is stay above the fracas and not allow their nastiness to influence me. 
Too much energy goes into this kind of hate.  There is and never will be a winner.  The RWS card has the image of walking away when you get involved in a no win situation.  I wonder why these two didn't and I wonder if I should.

GAIAN TAROT -Joanna Powell Colbert

Sunday, September 11, 2016

razzle dazzle

Now this looks like a bit of fun.  As I have gotten a bit more mature I don't feel the rush of youthful excitement so much.  I still have a bit of fire in my soul, and this card reminds me to let it loose and go enjoy myself.

"It is always with excitement that I wake up in the morning wondering what my intuition will toss up to me, like gifts from the sea.  I work with it and rely on it.  It's my partner."
                                               -Jonas Salk

Saturday, September 10, 2016

this little piggy goes...

A pig is a pig is a pig.  You are what you are.  This sow and her piglets are who they are. They were born pigs and will die as pigs and will live their lives doing piggy things.
Should I be so lucky.
I tossed and turned all night last night worrying and rehashing a situation I have with clients.  Challenging would be a soft term for them.  I tried to stop the runaway train-of thoughts but never really did.  Then somewhere along 4am I thought to myself if I could focus all my thoughts on me and my well-being instead of trying to work through their mess - HOW WONDERFUL THAT WOULD BE FOR ME!  In another couple of weeks it will be some other mess or challenge; so let it go.
This card also reminded me a bit of the RWS Star Card.  One large star and seven smaller circlet of stars.  Calm and Peace after the Tower. 
So these clients are a lesson for me, hopefully I will learn it at long last.

DRUID ANIMAL ORACLE ~ Phillip and Stephanie Carr-Gomm

Friday, September 9, 2016

Different Perspective

"Because fire itself symbolizes movement, the Knight of Wands shows this quality in extreme. He represents eagerness, action, movement for its own sake, adventure and travel."

The Gilded Tarot's Knight of Wands comes across so harsh, like his energy in action is negative.  Where as the same Knight's energy In the Fairy Tarot comes across as exciting and adventurous.
I quoted Rachel Pollack above because she stood apart and analyzed the cards from a esoteric and cerebral view point in her first book on Tarot.  She mostly used the Rider Waite Smith deck for her observations of tarot but had wide experience with many philosophies .
Starting my day with the energy of a knight could be a really good thing, but not energy of the knight in the Gilded Tarot.  It goes back in the box and in the back of the drawer, cause I am not sure I want to give this kind of energy to another.


Thursday, September 8, 2016

Something is just not right

Something is really out of sorts with me.
I am not connecting with the cards.
Thought it was this Gilded Tarot Deck,
so I looked at another deck this morning
and same.  Blank.
I was concerned about the repeating
draws of several cards not posted this
week.  I am going to re-mind myself that
Mercury is retrograde and that messes
with perception.   If I cannot get a clear
sense of things, I just may need to look
at the world and things from a
different view point. 

Wednesday, September 7, 2016


Can we/I really ignore what our/my heart and mind tell us?  How can something be right in front our/my eyes and there is failure to see?

Those swords tell me my mind is giving some thought to a situation and that full moon indicates my mind and intuition are engaged, but I still am not seeing what is right in front of me. 

Is ignoring something the same as ignorance.?
Choosing not to know and not knowing.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Got nothing

The card I drew today didn't speak to me on any level so I am going to just ponder it all day. 
I have a half of dozen  must do - on my list today.  Since my mind doesn't want to focus so early in the day, those half of dozen things will spin me in all kind of directions just to get through them, so by days end I will feel like I have done a hundred things.

C'est la vie

Monday, September 5, 2016

Just Show Up

"Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.
  Attitude is everything."  - J. D'Angelo

I have mentioned before that according to the men in white coats,  genuflect please, that we have fifty to sixty thousand thoughts a day, or sixty to seventy thoughts daily, depends on which expert you are reading at the time.  So I am wondering about the rest of those thoughts - the non repeating ones.  Is this where the magic or mayhem occurs?   Something to ponder - or 'think' about.
A lot of days I just show up in my Life, not really getting anything done, just the one foot in front of the other kind of day Just plodding along.  Then there are those other days - really good or really not so good days; which, I have to have both to appreciate the difference. 
So I am going to take this card for one of those really good days and think happy thoughts all day.  It is a holiday and most generally everyone is in a good mood so maybe the whole community is having an 'up' day and we can all ride about on those good waves...

GILDED TAROT by Circo Marchetti

Sunday, September 4, 2016

So What

Choices, are we ever beyond having to explain ourselves.  Even living alone I feel like I have to justify what I am doing, going to do, or have done.  But to whom?  The only person I am accountable to is me.

Doing nothing is a choice.  I have a list of at least seven things I want to get done and work on during this long holiday weekend.  I had great intentions yesterday.  Started out well and then got hooked on reruns of Downton Abbey on PBS.  I turned on the tv when I took a break for lunch and that as they say 'is all she wrote.'  I watched ten hours straight. I quit watching the series years ago because I was over enamored with the show; in fact I watched most of season three which is the last season I watched.  I spent the day teary eyed and it was probably the best use of my day.  I didn't worry about anything, had some emotional release time, did a bit of dusting while watching and laundry-so some housework was done.  The big thing was - I vacated my life for a while and so my mind was rested at days end.
The Judgement Card yesterday in hindsight suggested no judgement about how I spent my day.  It is was my choice.  For today I am going to grab one of those cups and get it done.

GILDED TAROT by Ciro Marchetti

Saturday, September 3, 2016


Judgement, from the booklet - is known as the karmic card: 'as you sow, so shall you reap.'  Does the Judgement card really represent karma.  Retribution and Rewards for past actions, and if so how long do those actions, good or bad, stay on our accounting books...hours, days, weeks, months, our lives - however many we live? 

When I first viewed this card I saw the winged helmet.  This helmet was worn by Hermes or Mercury who was/is the messenger of the Gods.  Mercury is retrograde per astrological tables, so we have to rethink and review all that we encounter during these three weeks.

Do I believe in karma, I used to think so.  I think, ponder, pray, and meditate on the word karma often after my tornado trauma.  Was that punishment-karma for some past action.  I got to tell you I haven't done anything so bad as Carolyn to deserve that Chariot ride.  How about previous Lives?   I cringe when I hear people say "they deserved that" or I wish I was around when that bites them in the ass." 
Maybe that is what Judgement has to say to me, to choose my words wisely today and also during this Mercury retrograde time.

GILDED TAROT by Ciro Marchetti

A picture of my Chariot after the tornado.

Friday, September 2, 2016

Two to go, please

"All endings are beginnings, we just don't know it at the time." - Mitch Albom

Death. I don't draw the death card often, maybe just a few times over the years.  The starkness of most death cards can be off putting, as I guess an actual experience of death can be.  I have knocked on heavens door, traversed to the other side; death does not frighten me. I do get a bit emotional about it, a big change can have that effect.  One of my biggest concerns with death is for loved ones.   I make sure I tell all of those close to me that I love them, cause later could be too late.
Everyone tries to soften this image to remove any stigma of fear from the Death card.  Yet..death comes to us all.  It is a natural progression of our Soul's experience.  You can't stop the rider when it comes, there is no bargaining with Death.
For me, forget those spilled three cups and pick up the two and make the most of today, cause tomorrow is never promised.

GILDED TAROT by Ciro Marchetti

Thursday, September 1, 2016

Solar Eclipse

There is a Solar Eclipse today.  Not visible from my little corner of the World.  Still it is significant to mark the day.  Lots of oohs and aahs when seen.  The Moon full of mystery and myth, offering intuitive messages; blocking the The Sun full of hope and promise and the light to our days.

I drew the five of cups again today.  I thought thats not right and was going to ignore him, and thought to myself, 'no you have to honor the cards', sort of play the hand your dealt.  I thought I really want to know what is trying to be relayed to me, some hint, so I replaced back in deck to ask again.  Shuffled, cut and first card up - again the five of cups.

The veil between the seen and unseen, the conscious and unconscious, is supposed to be thinner during eclipses, so I will spend some of my day in quiet contemplation and hope to find my answer to the message this five of cups is relaying.