Quiet please

Sweet Silence.  My tinnitus is deafening lately. 
A chosen lovely spot among the green.  Nothing much Spring green here. Ninety-eight today, everything seems to be tinged with brown. No anticipated symphony of fall colors and to walk across the yard reminds me of the same crunching sound when the grass is frozen.  No birds to announce the mornings, most have taken wing to wherever water can be found and the rest are heading to their winter destinations.  Time for me to take a leave of absence and give myself the gift of a get-a-way.  Maybe I can find a spot unto myself and ease the incessant ringing.



The Gaian Tarot

Disenchanted

Heard it all before. Not listening.  This Two of Swords has a feel of Justice, but he will not make the High Court.  His mind wanders and he is not really present, listening to the presentation in court. 
Today I need to pay attention or at least not waste my time with someone who would rather be somewhere else rather than spending time with me. 

Own worst enemy

Closed off.   If I were by the seaside I would spend my time gazing at the waves, walking along the beach.  This card clearly lets me know that I am not in touch with where I am.  What I am doing.

I have not been connecting with the cards of late.  Too much darkness in my mind.  I have decided to go back to basics, Rider Waite-Smith Tarot.  It is the deck I have spent the most time with.  So I am returning to my tarot classroom.
This card falls right in place.  Last night I did a Celtic Cross Reading for myself to try and help me figure out why I was holding my breath of late waiting for.... dark and disturbing as was the draw.  Death and the Devil showed up as well as the High Priestess.  Swords overwhelmed the cards, the six, eight, nine, and ten - OH MY!  The five of cups was in the place of what I think about.  So many cards with shades of black.  Now here today the two of swords.  I have been sitting with her for awhile and wonder how long before her arms ache and she has to lay down those swords.  So to with me I suppose.  Put down those worries and fears and go play in the water.


Rider Waite-Smith Tarot. 

Refusal

What am I refusing to witness?  What needs validation?
I wasn't sure what the image was relaying so I decided to step into the card.  I took my place on the bench and held the swords up as the example.  What I noticed is my hands became numb after a bit.  So what becomes numb in me when I refuse to validate myself?  That's my question for today.