What one thing?

Yesterday's King had his eyes on the prize, now off to find that one thing that is needed to complete his task.  It looks like all the offerings in the Seven of Cups have been sorted through and experienced and even something more, and yet it isn't what the King was looking for.  What will need to be discovered that will bring him/me to the satisfaction of the Nine of Cups?  There was something recently read about getting what you thought you wanted and still experience dissatisfaction.  So the absence of those things are not the answer to happiness. Maybe the journey is what fills the ninth cup. Seek and you shall find.

The only other thing these eight cups makes me think of, is getting all your ducks in a row, impossible, I thought so too.

Eye on the prize

Keep your eyes on the prize. 

Unexpected company

What is going on here?  I drew The Hermit today and thinking that maybe a guide would show up today, or someone who just happens to give a bit of advice or suggestion.  Maybe someone in the checkout line at the grocery; you never know.  Anyway the scan came out like this. How did The Magician sneak in on the The Hermit?
I evidently left The Magician on my scanner yesterday. I have never left anything on my scanner; not just on the blogs but all the other thousands of documents from my work-a-day life.  Why The Magician and why now?  Today will be interesting to see if I find out. 

egnahC

Is it "we do what we are, or we are what we do?"
The Magician today appears like a diviner, drawing information or energy or what is needed to oneself.  A lightning rod.  Can this be the moment of "Magic" when we realize we are the Magician?  We can change what needs to be change just by calling that change to us? 

Change the way we look at things and the things we look at Change.

One does

One does what one must.
Yesterday The Wheel, going up and down,
Today The World, going round and round.
I am saddened by so many who have lost their way in opiod addiction.  I know several and have known several others that got caught up in the cycle and never found their way out.  I could have been one of those and still may be. Pain and escape from feeling.  Blaming the drug companies, sure, but we must look at what brought us to this crisis. Sadness, despair, the evening news.  I am just a second away from turning off the t.v. and never watching it again. The World turns but do we have to have everything thrown in our face, day after day?

Ever Turning

My life lately has been me being the marble, bouncing around on the roulette wheel.  I have sore places that I can't see from all the knocks. The Wheel ever turns.  On top one day and crushed beneath the wheel another. The How and Why of it sometimes we just never know. 
Lately I have been finding dimes.  For years I used to find money all the time.  Now, so much is bought with the convenient debit cards, dropped money is a the thing of the past.  Still I find bits of coins here and there, but lately dimes.  In the last 3 weeks twelve or more. Which is more than I found all last year.  Makes me wonder.  Tens are usually a signal something needs, must, or will change.  I guess I am in the midst of that.

Sake

Arguing for the sake of arguing.  I think this is the trap I get myself into sometimes.  The battle is not without but within.  I can, yes I can! Suppose I can't?  Do I beat myself up because I failed myself, or what I think I failed at?  Do I continue as though nothing is wrong; so as to make others more comfortable?  I do everything to make myself and others think things are alright. Who am I kidding.  I think I learned that lesson from my Father.  "You want something to cry about, I'll give you something to cry about." Brutal.


"The deeper the cry, the more clear the choice." Mark Nepo




Rider Waite-Smith Tarot

Walled in

I have retreated to my own self-imprisonment.  I stand and view the passing world with fear and bits of left over fascination.  I wrote my friend Sharyn yesterday that I had not been doing my daily draws because all I thought I would view would be reflections of my fear, anger, and sadness.  Why look at what I already feel?
I originally started this blog to work through some of my days of healing. Evidently I still have more to do.  I have found a well of deep sadness for the loss of a life that might have been lived if not for a tornado. I have shut myself away hoping that it will pass.  It will not.  No way around it, so I must plow through. 




Rider Waite-Smith Tarot

New Beginning

Rebirth is part of caption for this card.
Fruition. Commitment. A tisket a tasket.
If something is started, it is best to see it through. 
Easter seems an appropriate time to begin anew. 










Druid Animal Oracle.

Practicality

What did I want to do?  It was a question I was asked by a young professional a year ago.  Trying to find out what career was best suited for him,  I answered "I wanted to make money." I have pondered that answer more often than not in this last year.  Guess what, I have made money, but don't have many coins to count. It comes and goes.  I think about the statement, "make money" and I believe the declaration came from a place of lack.  And so I think one of the foundations of my work-a-day life has been built on lack.
From Rachel Pollacks, Seventy-Eight Degrees of Wisdom, "...practical work, done consciously and with commitment, may serve as the vehicle of self-development."
Since I have to come to terms with the fact that I will most likely work until I decide to leave the planet; I best think of work of something more than "make money."

Rider Waite-Smith Tarot

What's left

Well that don't look good.  Drew the Nine of Fire yesterday and the day went to hell in a hand basket, not all calm and serene.  So maybe today, hopefully, be a contrast to the hell fires depicted here.  The flames may just be left over hot spots of yesterday.  Whatever.  Makes me think of looking through the looking glass and things are not what they usually appear to be. 
So what?  Give up the daily draws of advice or indication of the day ahead?  Maybe.  I have pretty much quit listening to advice from the 'wizards of oz's' Maybe it is time to put the cards away.  What are they telling me that I don't already know?

I'm okay, You're okay

Nine of Wands, don't give up and don't give in.
Also a line in a song by Mike and the Mechanics,  "and if you don't give up and don't give in, you may just be okay."
I recently heard an affirmation that I am saying to myself almost constantly "My priority is well-being through self-awareness"  This affirmation is more fitting for this Nine of Fire (Wands)
Why bother trying to stay on top and keep ahead of the pack when working  on bettering oneself is an option.  Both are challenging, one I think, is more rewarding.




The Gaian Tarot

Looking this way and then that

The Mirror has two faces. In my mind's eye I still think of myself as about forty-five, though the mirror shows and tells a different age.  It still catches me by surprise sometimes, especially on those really good days when my energy is good and I am in the flow, and then pass a mirror and go "whoa"

I was watching Sunday Morning on CBS a while ago and Caroline Kennedy gave an interview.  From her appearance she has chosen not try to look younger than her age of sixty-one, no face-lifts, no botox.  Same here at sixty-two.  I wonder though if I had more resources if maybe I would have done it differently? Probably not.  Embrace the Crone years.

The Gaian Tarot - Joanna Powell Colbert

A different take

I didn't feel it from the cards so I went out to a site that offered pick one.  Here it is. 
The Wheel of Fortune.  I try not to think of "bad times" as bad times.  There are good times and not so good times. I am giving up the "bad"

click,click,click

Ten of Pentacles.
Instead of searching for something more; enjoy what is stacked right in front of you.  The Yellow Brick Road.  Sure why not? Remember the wisdom after the venture,  "there's no place like home."

Me or not?

I woke up with a lovely dream of the beach, and warm sunny days.  I saw my Kitty basking in the sunlight watching little newts run along the window and the birds bouncing along the yard looking for little bits of breakfast. From time to time I think about making the move. There is the financial concern, but my biggest fear is the leaving of the sister.  She has pleaded with me not to go for years and since the the tt I wonder what I would do without her if I faced another traumatic event. Also with a major abandonment theme(s) running through my lives, I don't want to cast that sorrow on another. 
Sacrifice asks me which is the greater, my need or others?



The Sacred Circle Tarot

Not another test

The Queen of Swords of yesterday is sending me through a maze, another test it seems.  Puzzled I am at how many more tests and trials one goes through in a lifetime. Maybe this one will be easily solved. Best not to get wrapped up in the dilemma, but enjoy my time in the garden.  Sometimes it might be a good thing to get lost, or just to wander and wonder till things right themselves.
Like any Tower, sometimes the fall might be just a little knee scrape.

Alright already

All but one of the swords of yesterday have been quieted.  The one remaining, this one dominant thought must be listened to.  As they say what we think about we bring about.  The chaff has been cleared away.  It seems all my thoughts have been just getting through winter, which seemed to drag on.  I was and am winter weary.  Thankfully longer days of sunlight and warmth have returned.  My thoughts already are spinning towards next winter and 'how will I ever manage the cold short days.' Crazy. 
My sister here says "stop" and smell the 'roses' get out in the fields of Spring and live in the moment.  Quelch those winter blues and be here, really here in the days of Spring.



The Sacred Circle Tarot

The clash

Did you hear that? The sound of blade on blade, the clash of steal.  That's those mixed emotions of yes and no, do or don't do, yesterday-tomorrow.  Do I stay or do I go? 
Rooted to a spot or place; the fear of indecision. 
Time to shake off the lingering dregs of winter.










The Sacred Circle Tarot -Anna Franklin and Paul Mason